Hey, bestie! It’s coffee time and time to reflect! As 2023 is coming to an end today, I wanted to take some time to talk about something my therapist asked me yesterday. At the end of our session, she asked me to name three things I was proud of from this year. Surprisingly, I was able to name them and more with no struggles or thinking too hard which is not normal for me. It helped me to reflect on this past year, the lessons, the wins, and the struggles.
A Year of Lessons
This year was not without struggles for sure. The first three months or so were full of unknown and frustration as my divorce was being finalized. Even though it was something I wanted, it was still an emotional process to go through. It’s hard to walk away from 26 years of memories, lose half of your family, a lot of friends. I don’t care how needed a divorce is, it’s still a grieving process for those involved.
Being on my own and learning to adult for the first time in my life was a learning curve. Sometimes it is incredibly lonely. It can be frustrating to have a rough day or even a really good day and have nobody to come home to that you can share your day with. It is also very freeing to learn to be independent, too, though. I don’t think enough people talk about this part of being single. Spending time alone allows you to really learn who you are. You get time to reflect, feel your feelings, process your thoughts without being interrupted.
A Year of Wins
But like they say, when one door closes, another opens. The end of my marriage also brought a lot of good things to my life. Like my best friend. I would have never met her if it wasn’t for my divorce (that will be a story for another day-it’s a wild one). This woman and I spent a year building our friendship via text and phone calls before we ever met in person for the first time. When we finally met in April, it was like we saw each other daily. She is truly the other half of my brain. I wish everyone could have their own Kim. I don’t know how I managed before her and I know I wouldn’t have made it through some really tough times over the last almost two years without her.
I spent a lot of time this year focusing on having more quality relationships with those in my life. I made new friends, got closer to my own family who I had not been able to spend as much time with over the last several years, and I dated. While relationships may not have worked out with guys I dated and friendships may have drifted apart, I took something from each of them as a lesson about myself and who I want in my life going forward.
My favorite win for the year may have been buying my first vehicle that I picked out and financed by myself with no help from anyone else. Talk about doing a grown up thing! I feel pretty proud to get in my Beep (as I call my baby Jeep) every morning knowing I bought it all by myself. Celebrating little wins is so important.
A Year of Challenges
The year wasn’t without some serious challenges, also. After seeing a few different doctors over the last few years, I was finally diagnosed with ADHD. While it was a relief to have the diagnosis and know I wasn’t just crazy, the process of finding the right medication was not fun. Once my doctor and I found the right one, though, it sure made a difference on my ability to function daily.
December has been a struggle. I got Covid and then two weeks later, influenza. A close friend passed away. Learning to get through the holidays without a partner for the first time was hard, especially when my kids were with their dad’s family on Christmas Eve which has always been my family day for Christmas since I was a child. I spent some time having a pity party, but I spent a lot more time reflecting and trying to make the holidays the best I could for my children.
And That’s a Wrap!
As the hours tick down to the new year, I am ready for whatever lies ahead. As I ended my therapy session yesterday, my therapist said “I hope you are really proud of yourself. You have survived and thrived through a lot of stuff that would have made most people give up. But you don’t give up. You keep pushing forward.” You know what? She is right, and I am proud of myself! I am excited to see what the future holds for my children, my family, my friends, and me. I am especially excited to see what it holds for you, too, bestie. I would love to hear in the comments about what you’re proud of from 2023 and I hope you are blessed and have a beautiful 2024.